There has been an overwhelming thought jumbling around in my head the last couple weeks. I've been trying to figure out how to put it down into words and it just hasn't been working...

In Church last week we sang a song called "Soften my Heart" and part of the lyrics read "I want all that You have for me". I think that's been what is sticking in my head. As a committed follower of Jesus I believe that what God desires for me is what would be the absolute best. Walking where He wants me to walk is the very best path for me to follow. So essentially I am saying "I want ALL that You have for me..." But really I'm chicken. I'm scared to set out in total obedience because it is unfamiliar ground. I know all the right churchy answers but the reality is often I'm just plain scared.

That led me to thinking about intentionally choosing second best. We have friends who are watching a loved one make some really poor choices. I am watching her. It breaks my heart. It makes me wonder why we would choose death instead of life, pain instead of laughter, shallow and fleeting pleasure instead of pure deep down joy. Why we would put our trust in people who have yet to prove themselves loyal and true instead of people who have loved us unconditionally for our lifetime.

And it makes me realize that when I choose to stay on the path of the familiar instead of the path of God's choosing, I am choosing 2nd best.