Ever wish you were someone else? Or maybe you wish that you were just different than you are. I think I'm wishin' today. I have always understood myself. I know who I am, I know what I am able and unable to do. I suppose that's why I'm not a risk taker. I know that I'd probably fail and therefore I can't even try. Sounds silly when you type it out and read it on a screen. But hey, there it is.

I'm feeling extremely introspective today and perhaps that's not a good thing - on the other hand - maybe it is bringing to the surface things I need to examine. For example, there are qualities I wish I had. There are things that are a part of me that I understand, I just don't always like them. If I wrote them down here the multitudes of you who read this (haha) would all phone and say nice things like "oh no, you aren't like that" or "oh that is how God made you - celebrate that!" Believe me when I say - I get it. I know perfectly well what and who I am. and believe me again when I say that I am grateful for this person I am that God has created.

At times though, there are things that come to the surface - qualities I've just accepted in myself, believing that God created me this way. But I wonder - are they qualities given by God? or are they qualities I've just nurtured because they don't require risk? and therefore mean I don't fail or feel rejected.

I'm not sure of any answer - only that God knows. And when I need to really figure this out - He'll show me. My job now is to be open to hearing His voice and letting Him work and even to be willing to take a risk. Really, if God is asking me to risk - dare I say no?