Janice passed away this morning around 11:00 a.m.

I'm sad, joyful, melancholy, reflective....death has a way of making you feel many things at the same time. She went peacefully~she was with her sister, her children and my sister who has cared for her so deeply (see yesterdays post). The song "Open the Eyes of my heart" was playing as her breathing slowed 'til finally it stopped. The line of that song "I want to see Jesus" is what is playing over and over in my head. Janice is finally seeing Jesus. Hallelujah.

But her children. Well, there is the sorrow. We feel joy for Janice - no pain and now safely tucked into the arms of the Lord who loves her. But the sadness of 3 children who are left without a mom. They will press on - two know Jesus ~ one is still travelling on the road to meet Him. And it is Jesus who will carry them through this grieving process. But still, it hurts. And it feels empty and lonely inside your heart.

I'm just getting my kids into bed. They're just watching the end of Mary Poppins. I watched the scenes with Uncle Albert laughing so hard - unable to stop. I watched my girls giggling as they heard the jokes they've heard many many times before. It made me laugh. We danced up a storm as the chimneysweeps danced upon the rooftops....it makes me realize how rarely we just bust a gut and laugh. Uncontrolled, unabashed laughter.

It also makes me realize how sad I've been lately. Our friend Janice, who I've written about before is about to breathe her last. She is 43 years old, she'll be leaving 3 kids 18, 19, and 20 years old. I watch my sister who has given the better part of these last few months to be a strong support for both the children and for Janice. I am sad for Janice, although as her pain increases I look forward to the freedom and joy she'll have in heaven, I'm sad for 3 children who have had to watch their mom die and will continue their lives without her, and I'm sad as I watch my sister carry burdens that are so heavy. Watching my sister I see someone who has been Jesus to this family. I've seen her deny herself countless times as she gives over and over again. I've seen her determined to work things out for these children who are not hers but whom she cares for as if they were. I've learned from my little sister. I've learned a lot. and while I do not have the same gifts or personality as she does, I've learned that one of my gifts is to support her in prayer and in caring for her kids and trying to fill in the gaps for her as best as she will let me. I've also realized as I type this, that I've got to try harder to care for her, give more to the task of being a support to her.

Look around you - who is it who needs to be lifted up and cared for? The ones who need it most are probably those who will let you know the least. They are the ones quietly working away doing God's work. Seek them out. Encourage them. Refresh them.

Impractical, Immoral

Martin Luther King, Jr.

Violence as a way of achieving justice is both impractical and immoral. It is impractical because it is a descending spiral ending in destruction for all. The old law of an eye for an eye leaves everybody blind. It is immoral because it seeks to humiliate the opponent rather than win his understanding; it seeks to annihilate rather than to convert. Violence is immoral because it thrives on hatred rather than love. It destroys community and makes brotherhood impossible. It leaves society in monologue rather than dialogue. Violence ends by defeating itself. It creates bitterness in the survivors and brutality in the destroyers.

I've been thinking today (as I was making applesauce - oh how domestic am I?) about Pat Robertson and the idiotic quote he made on his tv show. It got me thinking about politics and religion and how we've reduced the amazing message of freedom that Christ preached and reduced it to our very tiny western democracy. We've (and I say this begrudgingly because I often make sure the distinction is made that I'm Canadian NOT American) really have this arrogant Western mindset that says our way is the wisest, our way is the least ignorant, our way is THE BEST way and other countries are certainly beating down our door to be just like us.

In some respects, this is true. We do have wonderful freedoms that democracy offers. We live in a relatively safe place where we can say what we want, when we want. I am very grateful to live in a country like Canada. I see immigrants coming to our country because they long for the political system that we have created. On the other hand...I hate it when we think that Jesus cares about our politics. He cares about politicians but does He really care if the country is Conservative or Liberal, Democratic or Republican? Can He accomplish what He wants in any political system - even in, gasp, a communist country? I see so many leaders trying to tie in Jesus to their politics. Jesus cares about people. and we stuff Him into these crazy manmade boxes. If you love Jesus you'll vote this way or that way. If you behave this way, then we should get rid of you because we can. We are the powerful West and Jesus loves us best.

How stupid is that.

Some thought provoking words from Finley Eversole, "The Politics of Creativity." It's long but well worth the read. The bold is added from me.

I can sit at my typewriter and imagine a time when man will be able to engineer planets in other solar systems into orbits suitable for the support of human life and "seed" them to produce an environment similar to our own. I can imagine art-works that feed the spectators, or a buffalo riding on the back of a giant sea turtle, or transmitting the genetic code of man to planets in outer space on electronic wave impulses. This fundalmental freedom of the imagination places it beyond the control of even the most fanatical police state.

Yet the tragedy is that we constantly destroy man's imagination by labeling it "day-dreaming," "unrealistic," "impractical." In our society, at the age of five, 90 percent of the population measures "high creativity." By the age of seven, the figure has dropped to 10 percent! And the percentage of adults with high creativity is only two percent! Our creativity is destroyed not through the use of outside force, but through criticism, innuendo, subtle psychological menas which the "well-trained" child learns to use upon himself! Most of us are our own "brain police."

But if Freud was right that nothing is ever lost to the unconscious, then the creativity of early childhood must still be present in all of us-latent, repressed, crippled-but present! No less a man than William Blake, one of the great creative geniuses of all times, could say, "You have the same intuition as I, only you do not trust or cultivate it. You can SEE what I do, if you choose." ONe of the fundamental freedoms of a democracy should be the right of every induvidual to his own creative expressions."

~Finley Eversole "The politics of creativity"

I've been thinking a lot lately about the 'rules' we place on ourselves. The rules of society. I guess I was thinking about it because of some of the comments I've received because we choose to homeschool our children. Most peoples 'rules' tell them that Reid & I are choosing unwisely for our children. We are setting them apart from everyone else, we are making them different, we are certainly not going to adequately prepare them for the 'real' world. We are not giving them the opportunities for greatness that all the other public school children receive....sigh.

I have a million replies to all these 'helpful' comments...but really the only one I use is "well, it's certainly not for everyone." How good is it that we place huge expectation on a child to be brilliant at kindergarten or grade one? What favour do we think we are doing when we have our young 5,6,7 years olds coming home with homework? You know what I think they should excel at? Playing, imagining, creating... at what other point in their life are they going to have a chance just to be. I've read a great deal of info on how important it is to build an early foundation. I have to say, that I agree. I just don't agree on what the foundation is built of. To teach a child to use his or her imagination, to think outside of the box - to teach them to THINK at all is key. If they know how to think - then they can learn anything.

I am not against public school. In fact, when I meet people I would never dream of making a comment on their choice of public school for their child. I guess this rant was brought on by people feeling it was their duty to point out the flaws in our choice of how we educate our children.

So I'm back to those rules. Rules that tell us that this is the most appropriate way to live...and perish the thought if you choose a different set of rules, or heaven forbid, chuck the rules altogether!

here's the new look Gregorio~ what do ya think? Easier on the eyes??

My life at the moment seems to be full of questions. Maybe it's a Summer thing. Less to occupy my mind so it drifts....

I wonder about time - how we spend it, how little we have of it, how we waste it....and that leads me to thinking about "stuff". The things we accumulate - some we need, most we don't. The two thoughts are connected because I realize that often my time is taken up earning, buying or taking care of my stuff! And I bet if you asked me if "stuff" was important to me I'd tell you "no, of course not- people are. My family, my friends...and my relationship with God - now that's important!". But if you look at my time - you'd see evidence to the contrary.

And then of course, it all leads me back to my belief system and is that really reflected in the way I choose to lead my life. How does my relationship with God actually LOOK in Hope, 2005. THIS is an important question!

I came across this quote by Rainer Maria Rilke in yet another Elizabeth O'Connor book called "Eighth day of Creation". It struck a chord and gave me maybe a bit of perspective with the barrage of questions that tumble around in this brain o'mine.

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart...try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.
~Rainer Maria Rilke

I came across this article in a Sojourners Magazine email. I found it very interesting. We (meaning Christians) are really a judgemental lot. My sister shared the other night how Christians are the only army that shoots its own soldiers. Sad but true.


A bridge far enough?

by Brian McLaren

You've heard the old saying: The hard thing about being a bridge is that you get walked on from both ends. As someone who spends roughly half of my time in the conservative world and half in the liberal (theologically and politically speaking), I suppose I qualify as a kind of bridge person. Unfortunately, my experience confirms the old saying, and I have a few boot marks on my backside to prove it.

The fact is, I don't feel very qualified to write this article. I'm assuming the best person for the job should be well accepted and respected on both sides of the bridge. He or she should feel successful in communicating with both liberals and conservatives, feel comfortable in both red and blue states, be liked by both Hannity and Colmes. Sadly, the more I communicate with one side of the bridge, the more I feel suspect by the other. As a result, I've been invited to stay out of a state of one color, and in spite of my above-average imagination, I can't imagine possibly connecting with Colmes and Geraldo without infuriating Hannity and O'Reilly, or vice versa.

So, if I'm a bridge, I'm a rickety one, a "plan B," I suppose. My basic qualification to write this article is my belief that we as followers of Christ should at least try to talk to everybody we can - and to do so, as the Apostle Peter said, with "gentleness and respect" (1 Peter 3:15). I don't agree with the tone of the conservative author who offers advice on how to talk to a liberal "if you must," suggesting that it's an odious task that one must do while pinching her nose. Nor do I agree with any liberal mirror image who sees all conservatives as equally stinky conversation partners. I have been given no exemption card regarding 1 Corinthians 13, and my calling as a Christian requires me, in the words of Paul, to "become all things to all people."

To those under the law I became like one under the law...so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law...so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. I do this for the sake of the gospel.... - 1 Corinthians 9:20-23

By the way - people often quote that Pauline phrase about becoming all things to all people preceded by you can't. But Paul's assertion was that he must, for the sake of the gospel, no matter how difficult the task was (and it was difficult - resulting in at least one riot in his lifetime!). Paul had what he called "the ministry of reconciliation," and he saw himself as a peace ambassador for Christ.

For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again. So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view.... All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. - 2 Corinthians 5:14-20

He was called to enter various cultures - Jewish cultures, Gentile cultures - and invite people to be reconciled to God and to one another. Of course, nobody can be everything to everybody at the same time, but you can, Paul implied, cross the bridge on the right side and enter a person's world without judgment, and then go to the left side of the bridge and enter that person's world without judgment as well.

Some food for thought - not rice pablum - a real hearty steak dinner to chew on....

Blessing the Bombs

The Hiroshima Bombers' Chaplain Faces Christ

http://www.bruderhof.com/articles/zabelka-hiroshima.htm?source=etp

I just returned from a WONDERFUL holiday in Penticton, BC. While lounging beside the pool I had time to let my mind wander and roam. I've been trying to process all that the Lord taught me while reading Elizabeth O'Connor's book. So much information....

So in my jumbled up mind, here's what has processed so far. Nothing profound for many people I'm sure, but for me, well, it's big stuff.

"Let people in". That's is how my sister summed it up for me as I spewed random thoughts at her. That's actually a pretty good analysis. I learned or I should say that I'm learning that I need to let people in. More specifically I have to let ALL people in - not just the ones I like. God loves Hope BC. He loves our community full of wealthy, poor, middle class, healthy, sick, mentally ill, addicted, liars, thieves and everyone inbetween. And because He loves them - I need to as well. And to care for them requires sacrifice, generosity, forgiveness, and the overwhelming unconditional love that only God can supply.

I've always loved people - but in retrospect, I've loved without sacrifice. I've loved in convenience and in tidy little packages. I've never loved messy. I never gave when I didn't want to, when the person got on my nerves or carried me out of my comfort zone.

so I'm going to try, with God's help, to let people in. I'm going to try, with even more of God's help, to love messy.

I recently discovered Elizabeth O'Connor.

What a find! I found her book "The New Community" at a secondhand store and for the bargain price of 50 cents picked up a precious jewel.

I wrote a while back about reading things that challenge you, that make you think - possibly could change your life. For me, this could be the catalyst. She has another book "Call to Commitment" which is now #1 on my list of books to track down.

Listen to this...

"The ultimate political act is the creation of community. I believe this. The building of community is the ultimate revolutionary act. Christ did not simply tell us to love one another. He "acted out" what he was talking about, striving with twelve to create a miniature model of the community he was foretelling. Community energizes, injects spirit, sends out waves of hope, attracts, and finally disturbs ordinary patterns of thinking and reponding, which is the reason an authentic expression of community often threatens the established order and in time finds itself in oppostition to existing powers."

So much to think about....good thing I'm going on holidays.