I came across this article while reading another blog. I SO agree with Rev. Gregory Boyd.

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/07/30/us/30pastor.html?ei=5090&en=6e51918eb9327aca&ex=1311912000&partner=rssuserland&emc=rss&pagewanted=print

I've written and deleted this blog entry more than a couple times today. I'm not sure what it is that I want to write. There is much on my mind and I'm not sure how to process it all.

I've been thinking back over events in my life that have jolted me/affected me way deep down in my core....

....my dad had a major heart attack (well, 2 actually)
....Reid's dad dying
....watching a young mom die early and her 3 young sons grow up without her
....going to Mexico
....more death
....struggles - health, marriage
....even recent events surrounding our friends' family getting out of Lebanon

and so many more things that are just escaping me at the moment.

I struggle with so many things - I have personality traits, character flaws, weaknesses - and at times they consume me. But when a life affecting event occurs. Well, things have a way of falling into place. Priorities shift and the fog lifts. Somehow my being weak in a certain area doesn't matter if my dad is in the hospital with a heart attack. Watching people live in absolute poverty and struggle to feed their families makes me realize that it isn't such a big deal if I lack ....fill in the blank.

And you realize what is important. Suddenly you do whatever it takes to make sure relationships are healthy. That family comes first. And not only in words. But in how we act. We eliminate activity that doesn't promote family first. We say no to certain things because well, it is not as important as family.

I think our bigger struggle is to do WHATEVER it takes to make our family healthy. We just aren't willing to make the big sacrifices to make it work. We all want to have strong, vibrant families. But when our family unit is in trouble - what are we willing to do to make it work? Just how much sacrifice are we prepared for? How vulnerable will we allow ourselves to be? I think of my friend who is an alcoholic. She simply could not have made it to her 5th year of sobriety had she not allowed herself to be vulnerable - to God, to her husband and children and finally to the rest of her family and friends. and she could not have succeeded if she didn't take drastic steps. She had to admit the problem and take decisive action. No more drinking. No more being around it. She completely had to change her lifestyle. Her and her husband had to choose to change every aspect of their lives - right down to new friends. That's what it takes. A complete and utter shifting in priorities and lifestyle.

hmmmm........

Well, through quite a series of unfortunate events as well as a few blessings thrown in for good measure our friends family has arrived in Montreal. They should be at our friends home, safe and sound on the safe southshore of Nova Scotia sometime this afternoon.

I am thankful for this intrusion of reality into my life. It has shaken me to my core and made me so very thankful for the life God has indeed blessed me with.

Talk about perspective......... I was feeling well, angst. Just on edge with life and yah, well, life. But then we started receiving some emails from friends in Nova Scotia. Reid grew up with Sandra and she married a fellow named John who is from Lebanon.

We've spent the last week reading and praying with them about their trials and tribulations in getting the remainder of John's family out of Beirut to Canada. They all have their landed immigrant papers but they are not officially activated (so to speak) until they set foot on Canadian soil. Obviously no easy task here.

In one email we read....

The Beirut airport is closed, where John's brother George and his family left from, for NS, on June 28. The second option would normally be from Damascus but there is only one road there and that has been bombed. If they leave via the northern city of Tripoli it would usually be a six/seven hour drive to Damascus but who knows how long it will take now? They could also leave by boat to Cyprus but Israel has closed all ports. As today continues, more and more roads are being closed, trapping the Lebanese in their country and sometimes within their town or area.

We have talked to Abla this morning; John couldn't get through yesterday. She told me, "Don't worry about us, the Israelis are only targetting the Hezballah areas." They can see the smoke from the airport and other areas from their homes. Their windows are rattling with the explsions. They are expecting phone and internet connections to be cut at any time.

and in another update.....

Some people are wondering why the Lebanese government isn't stopping Hezbollah from launching attacks on Israel. Hezbollah is a militant group financed, armed and instructed by Syria and Iran. They have essentially controlled southern Lebanon for many years. The Lebanese government, barely a year free from Syrian control, would risk civil war to interfere. Plus they do not have the arms or finances to stop them.

Israel says they will stop bombing if the Lebanese government will stop Hezbollah from attacking Israel and will get them to release the two Israeli soldiers they captured. Israel knows, as do the western-world goverments, that the Lebanese government cannot control Hezbollah.

John's sisters Abla and Jocelyne have told us that even though it is bad now with Israeli bombardments, the rumours there are that Israel is actually holding back until the foreigners are out. They think it will soon be much worse, if that is possible.

This morning Abla called and said that they have hired a bus (I don't know if it is a mini-bus just for them or a bigger bus to include others) to take them out through the north or any other way possible. They plan to leave tomorrow am. They will drive through Syria and down into Jordan. They have found a friend of a relative of a relative of a...... who is a travel agent and has found flights for them on July 20 from Amman, Jordan to Montreal - with delays along the way. Three days total.

Needless to say this is very dangerous and expensive, though no one is even thinking of money now.

They can't risk losing the bus to Jordan option. The border could be completely sealed at any time. But they would never take this long, dangerous, option if they can be evacuated. A decision has to be reached in the next few hours. (They are six hours ahead of us)

Abla said that all the schools are filled to overflowing with people who have fled from other regions. Even homes that have been left empty by people who have left the country are being taken over and occupied by other people who have been displaced.

Starvation is a real possibilty for some. Abla said she was at a nearby supermarket and there is nothing on any shelf.

Jocelyne's husband, Bernard, has been told that he will be conscripted by the Lebanese National Army for military service. They feel desperate to leave before he is taken for this.

So now John's family is driving through Syria to Jordan. We received word that they arrived in Syria only to have found that the driver they arranged failed to show up. They did eventually arrive in Jordan but have since had difficulties in getting on the plane to come to Canada. In explaining this Sandra gave some interesting background to her husband John's background. It made me so thankful that we live here in Canada and my kids are growing up with the sounds of birds and laughter - not missiles and bombs.

John was in Cyprus in 1990-91. He had previously been in an officer training program in Lebanon for the Lebanese National Army, during the civil war. Nine months into the training, Syria shelled the school compound for hours. Everything was destroyed. At one point John and others were on the first floor of a building unable to get to the shelter. The third floor was struck. There were casualties and so much destruction that the training was postponed.

John couldn't go home because a Christian militia (if you can put those two words together), which opposed the National Army, controlled his neigbourhood in Beirut, a few km away. All the ports were closed but he was able to take a speed boat, under cover of night, to Cyprus. His brother George and other friends and neighbours also got to Cyprus around that time.

That's the continuing story. At least they are out of danger. You hear on the news things like "Israel has struck the southern suburbs of Beirut." Keep in mind that the whole city is only about twice the size of Cape Island. When you hear about strikes "deep in the south of Lebanon" - that is a maximum of 50km from Beirut.

John checks a website that lists the minute-by-minute exact location of every bomb. Yesterday there was a strike about 300 meters from his high school where a truck with a drill used in construction was targeted. This is in a totally Christian neighbourhood which has no more to do with Hezbollah than you or I do.

And our final email this morning -

Thirty hours in and John's family is at a hotel in Jordan. There have been mix-ups and miscommunications. They thought they were only supposed to be a full day in Cyprus, but it is two days and one night. They couldn't get their visitor visas for Cyprus because they are flying on Royal Jordanian Airlines and this airline couldn't see in their reservation system that they have continuing flights with Olympic Airways as proof that they aren't planning to just stay in Cyprus. Andreas thought he could get visas for them from the Cyprus side but he couldn't.

John and I were so annoyed this morning that this perfect plan we had worked out for them to get a rest in Cyprus had fallen apart. Andreas and Maria had been so wonderful in helping out and it was for nothing.

Then John called Abla's neighbours, the ones with her cell phone. We know them from when we were there two summers ago. John told the man that everyone had made it safely to Jordan. He said, "They were lucky. The road they had used to get out of Lebanon was bombed later in the day." Once again our little annoyance didn't seem to matter any more.

My sister Carol has been telling her 7-year-old son David some of what is happening. He told her this morning, "I don't know why they just didn't take a submarine. It would have been easier. Or they could just dig a tunnel to Canada." Carol told him that would be a lot of work and he said, "I could help."

So here is your lesson in perspective today. We are in a country, a town that is not being blown apart by bombs, there is no lack of water or food and the odds of us surviving until tomorrow are pretty good.

Pray for the situation in the Middle East. Pray for peace

....and be thankful.

As I re-read some old posts from last Summer - I realize that I'm feeling some of that same angst now as I was then. Angst - good word - I'm going to try to use it more....

Anyway, I'm feeling the same frayed loose ended emotions, wrestling with ideas and life questions - different from last year and yet - so much the same.

I finished reading another interesting book. "The five people you meet in heaven". Nice book - nice story. Nothing that walloped me between the eyes. But it has left me thinking about how seemingly different stories tie together to make a life. It makes me look around and wonder what stories are going on around me and how are they involved in my life. and it also makes you look around and wonder whose life my story is affecting. I like the idea. I like us all being connected on some level. God created us and so I've always felt that as beings created by the same Creator we are connected - just as we are connected to our earth, to our stars - to ALL the things that our Creator made.

It inspires me to live a little more aware - a little more in awe.

aaah Summer - time for disjointed thoughts.

what have we done?.....

Sexual content is regularly marketed to younger children, pre-teens, and teens and this affects young people's sexual activity and beliefs about sex. According to the fact sheet, Marketing Sex to Children, from the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood, children are bombarded with sexual content and messages:

• In 2003, 83% of the episodes of the top 20 shows among teen viewers contained some sexual content, including 20% with sexual intercourse

• 
  

• 42% of the songs on the top CDs in 1999 contained sexual content -- 19% included direct descriptions of sexual intercourse

• 
  

• On average, music videos contain 93 sexual situations per hour, including eleven "hard core" scenes depicting behaviors such as intercourse and oral sex

• 
  

• Girls who watched more than 14 hours of rap music videos per week were more likely to have multiple sex partners and to be diagnosed with a sexually transmitted disease

• 
  

• Before parents raised an outcry, Abercrombie and Fitch marketed a line of thong underpants decorated with sexually provocative phrases such as "Wink Wink" and "Eye Candy" to 10-year-olds

• 
  

• Neilson estimates that 6.6 million children ages 2-11 and 7.3 million teens ages 12-17 watched Justin Timberlake rip open Janet Jackson's bodice during the 2004 Super Bowl halftime show.

sick.

I have a friend.

Yaya, I can hear your collective gasp "she has a friend?!" from here. I have a friend who is an inspiration.

We celebrated with her last night. She finished a social work diploma this year - with honours mind you, all the while raising 6 - yes, countem' SIX kids. Some of them with special needs. And she did it and did it well.

But guess what? That's not why we were celebrating. She has just celebrated her 5th year of sobriety. For anyone struggling with addictions, you know which was the bigger cause for celebration.

I wish I could express eloquently the feeling of watching someone be vulnerable before you. It's so painful, so humbling - it is such a gift. I can't believe that we have the honour of sharing in her and her husbands life and walking this incredibly difficult road with them. That they trust us enough - well, it is nothing short of amazing.

My friend is strong. Probably one of the strongest people I know. She has a strong sense of self, of family, of justice. She knows her weaknesses and she understands what it is to have to totally depend on God. She has lived a life that I would wish on no one. And she carries with her the past every day. But it doesn't control her. She lives very much in the present and she lives strong and well. She sees laughter and wants to join in. She sees pain and she wants to fix it. She sees injustice and she wants to fight.

I'm so proud of her. She will be the first to tell you that it is a day by day struggle. That it doesn't get easier.

But today - she is victorious.

I finished "Through Painted Deserts" by Donald Miller. I finished last week actually but I haven't wanted to write any reflections yet - I'm not sure why. It is rare that I am sad to finish a book so I was surprised when I came to the end of this book and felt profoundly sad. I was almost moved to tears that it was over. A strange reaction.

The book is not by any means a deep theological piece of writing. It's simple in fact. I can't express to you how much I enjoyed these two travelling companions. The way they interacted with each other, the cadence of the writing, the simple God thoughts...I guess they struck me just the right way. I learned some things that have touched me way down deep. I'll share them later - maybe.

Read the book. See what hits ya.

Today my oldest daughter is 12.

Twelve.

I'm a little in shock. It seems like an hour ago we were stuffing her in her car seat or trying to get her to eat her pureed squash. We blinked and suddenly she's going off on bike rides with her friends instead of asking us to teach her to ride a two wheeler.

From the beginning (okay minus the months and months of colic) Caris has been a blessing to us. And now at twelve, she is truly a lovely young lady. She is kind, funny, laid back. She loves Jesus and wants to grow and become more like Him. She is creative and comfortable to be different. I've always loved her - but what a bonus to LIKE her as well!

Pause today and watch your children. Really watch them. Capture the moment in your heart. And remember that those moments will never happen again.

I bet we'd spend our days and our time a little differently if we could remember that.

I've just begun a book - "Through Painted Deserts" by Donald Miller. In the intro I came across this paragraph which struck me. Really struck me. Maybe it will you to. Maybe you'll choose a little different this day.

It's a living book, this life; it folds out in a million settings, east with a billion beautiful characters, and it is almost over for you. It doesn't matter how old you are; it is coming to a close quickly, and soon the credits will roll and all your friends will fold out of your funeral and drive back to their homes in cold and still and silence. And they will make a fire and pour some wine and think about how you once were...and feel a kind of sickness at the idea you never again will be.
.....And so my prayer is that your story will have involved some leaving and some coming home, some summer and some winter, some roses blooming out like children in a play. My hope is your story will be about changing, about getting something beautiful born inside of you, about learning to love a woman or a man, about learning to love a child, and moving yourself around water, around mountains, around friends, about learning oneness as a way of understading God. We get one story, you and I, and one story alone. God has established the elements, the setting and the climax and the resolution. It would be a crime not to venture out, wouldn't it?

Again we celebrate Canada Day... our country is 139 years old. I must say I love being Canadian. I love saying I'm from Canada. I can remember when I backpacked through Europe and proudly wearing my Canadian flag.

And although there are things at the moment I'm disliking about my country - politics, taxes, war for example - I still must say, this is a great country to live in. It is welcoming and prosperous, it is generous and free.

Happy Birthday Canada.