I was at a funeral yesterday. It was for a local first nations woman who lived on the street. She was a serious alcoholic and probably had a few other addiction besides. I went because our good friends have her children as their foster children. And we love them.

It was held out at the Chawathil Reserve in the community hall. A few things struck me. There was a poster on the wall with pictures of Charmaine - as a child, a teen, a mom. On this poster were all kinds of words describing Charmaine. Daughter, mom, cousin, auntie, friend, etc etc. When we see people who abuse substances, who live on the street, who are difficult - we so quickly label them. But we don't remember those other labels of 'daughter, mom, auntie, friend'.

It was a "Shaker" service. Which I still don't really understand. It began with drumming and the songs, I suppose, of mourning and remembrance. I love this. I love the drums, the songs without words. It is very guttural, very basic, very earthy. It touches something deep down inside me. Then Charmaine's brothers and sisters gathered around her coffin (canoe they called it), held candles and 'sang' and prayed. Finally, they circled the coffin, we all stood and it ended with a viewing. Following this was a potluck lunch. Many in the Chawathil community were there.

I didn't enjoy the whole service. But there were elements I loved. It was interesting.

The most powerful thing for me was the challenge to look beyond a persons exterior. To look beyond the addictions, the mental health issues, the simple fact that they are different from me. To look and see a person. A human being who is someone's daughter or son, someone's friend. Someone who, just like me is in need of love and acceptance. As they are. For who they are and not who I expect them to be.

And when I can see past all the junk and love them - I proclaim the Kingdom of God. Because in God's Kingdom - no one is unlovable, no one goes hungry or is cold. No one unreachable.

egad moments...

-I was filling out my passport application and had to fill in "gray" as the colour of my hair.

-My oldest is actually old enough to be off on weekends away with the Youth Group.

-I actually chose salad because I liked it - not because I had to.

-I'm aware of the plunging stock market.

-I prefer CBC radio to 'music' radio

I know that the U.S. celebrated Martin Luther King day a couple days ago. What can I say- I'm running a little slow these days. I found this quote and have been thinking about it a great deal. To react to hate with hate is really, a typical human response. Of course, Jesus taught a different way. It is in responding with light and love that we bring the Kingdom of God to our very broken world. I proclaim God's love when I reach out to the unlovable and take care of them.

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."

Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Zero. Zip. Nada.

I didn't complain at all yesterday. I'm quite happy with those results. The challenge of course, is to continue and see how many days you can go without complaining. In general, I am not a complainer. I have my moments - but on the whole - I'm not one to gripe.

So maybe a twist on this challenge would be to not even respond with the negative slant. I was chatting with my brother yesterday and we were talking about how we tend to answer questions to the negative. For example, "How are you doing?" ..."Oh, not bad" or "I'm alright - but so busy!" etc etc etc. You get the idea. We seldom answer a simple "great" or "I'm really doing well thanks". For whatever reason our culture has deemed it necessary that we can't be truly positive & happy (lest we call you names!) and must talk with a bias to the negative.

So I'm going to try to catch that to. Maybe I don't complain, but perhaps I don't let on how truly content I am - or maybe I'm not even aware of how at peace I am.

and by the way...I'm really feeling great today. Thanks for asking.

Complain free day.

I watched a segment on the news last night about a movement to stop complaining. or to at least be aware of how much we do it. They use these purple bracelets and every time they complain - they switch the band to the other wrist. Keeps them aware.

So today I'm going to put a band on my wrist. Not purple - but we probably have 25 of those bracelets around here from other causes. I'm going to put my band on and switch every time I complain.

It'll be interesting to see.

I'm tempted make a joke. or to write some pithy saying. Just kind of write this day off like it isn't of any great matter to me. The photos are our house and my back. I hope it doesn't gross you out - let it make you thankful.

But in fact, this day is of great matter to me. It was one year ago today that the wind propelled a deck to come and visit. And it changed my life.

I still can't say with any great truth that I regret the incident. I don't. I certainly wouldn't choose it but having come out on the other side relatively unscathed - I can see all that I've learned and the positive things that have come out of it. The gift of perspective is huge. And I feel sometimes that before the accident, like most of us, our lives are viewed like we are looking at a stage with the curtains half drawn. Now they are blown full wide open. Perspective.

I am very anxious about today. I feel stress deep down in my belly all the time. I suppose it will one day go away but for now it is just a reminder. I'll get through. It reminds me that we are an intricate creation - and healing is not just for the physical - emotional and spiritual healing is important too. My body is pretty close to being back to where it was - emotionally I'm a little slower. But I've been told by the 'experts' that it just takes time. And fortunately, I've got time.

I'm still undone by people. By the family and friends that overwhelm me with their constancy, with their support and unconditional love. They are truly great.

I could not have walked this far along this road without any of them.

Reid has a creative side that he doesn't get to put to use at his "day" job. Instead he has created a side business that allows him to use both his computer skills and his artistic eye. One of the things that his business allows him to do is create power point slide presentations for weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, funerals. It seems that by far the bulk of his clients thus far have been grieving families who desire a slide show for a funeral.

This past few days he has been prepping a show for a local family. I know a couple of the kids - although they were younger than me. They grew up here - probably went to school with my brother and sister. There are 4 kids. And today they are burying their mom. Reid has been spending his time scanning pictures and putting together a memorial for the woman these kids adored. It is such a privilege. To be allowed to enter into a family's grief and being allowed to view a persons life from babyhood to death and everything in between. We sat with 3 of the 4 last night as they previewed the presentation. I cried as I watched them laugh and cry. Two big men and one grown woman. In such pain and grief.

The slide show will be a great tribute to Linda Joan Chaffer.

But as always, I am overwhelmed with the shortness of life and the importance of spending time with the ones you love most. Death is so final. Every day is a gift of great value and there always seems to be less time than we think there will be.

I suppose you are all wondering who that handsome guy is on my blog. Well, that's my nephew Tyler and the bigger guy with him is my brother Greg(haha). Today is Greg's birthday - I can't tease him about his age because when all is said and done - I'm older than he is. Greg lives very far from us. It makes it hard to connect on a regular basis. But when we are all together - it is like the years melt away and it is just as it has always been. Fun and full of laughter. I was remembering today of listening to records (yes records) in Greg's room on his cool dome shaped record player. Oh did we think we had it all! Too funny.

Happy Birthday Gregorio - I pray this year will be full of love, laughter, family and God's absolute best.