I'm quickly typing a post between answering the door for trick-or-treaters. Some of them are pretty darn cute - others, well, yuck is the nicest word I can use to describe it. Caris has the flu and is out in spite of it. I don't think she'll last very long - poor thing. She was so devastated to miss her last halloween going out as a trick or treater.... we'll see how long she lasts. Our gang looks so adorable. Caris is a "wacky" reporter (think plaid & a bow tie!) Phoebe is a rock star. My nieces are looking pretty fine as well... we've got Bethany as Little Bo Peep, Kaitlyn as a Rubiks Cube, Madison as a basket of dirty laundry (yes those are undies on her head) and Becca is a farmer.
Tansie is a girl from the 80's (leg warmers and all!) and Nicolas is a rock star. He looks like a blonde haired Slash from Guns 'n Roses. Lots of fun.

....well, in the time it took to type this out Caris has returned. *sigh* Oh well, points for trying!

I've been thinking about Maher Arar today. Just as I was falling asleep last night I heard on the news that neither the United States or Canada are issuing apologies to him. The States has only gone so far as to say that it will never happen again. big wup. They deported an innocent man - an innocent CANADIAN man back to his country of origin, Syria, which is known for being a country that practises torture and is not a big believer in human rights. Unbelievable. More unbelievable is the information or should I say MIS information that came via the RCMP and indirectly the Cdn. Government. That is abhorrent. So now he now has been proven innocent - completely vindicated and our Gov. can't issue an apology because they say, of the law suit. It may effect the dollar amount they say. geez. I can't imagine that saying sorry to a man who endured what no human should ever have to is contingent on what may happen in court. We all know the government messed up. They know they messed up. Mr. Arar certainly knows it.

Wouldn't it be nice if they took the high moral road and just did what was right. No matter what the courts had to say.

I've been walking two miles every weekday for the past month or so. I guess it'll help eventually - right now it's just a chore. So as I was sweating away doing my walk - I got thinking about my sister in law.

My sis-in-law Kelly just completed a 60 mile walk ( that's around 96 kilometers for us Canadians) over 3 days. She did it to raise money for breast cancer research, a worthy cause that has affected her life and so many of our own. She walked, slept in a tent, ate at tent city and then walked some more. I'm sure she enjoyed it - she has a pretty positive attitude toward most things in life, but no matter how you slice it - well, it's a LONG way to walk.

I'm very proud of her. I'm proud of her rising to the challenge, to train and then to follow through and actually do it. It's easy to throw money at a good cause. She could have easily just given cash and been done with it. But to sacrifice your time and your comfort - it's impressive. I think we all learn more when we give of ourselves and we set an example to the people around us. It says that we care enough to give up time, sleep, and all manner of creature comforts. I respect that.

I'm proud of all the walkers this past weekend - and I'm proud that Kelly was one of them.

Today I've decided that the world is insane.

As I lay in bed this morning and listened to the radio ... well, let's just say that listening to the news first thing in the morning is a great way to get you on your knees praying.

-more dead in Afghanistan
-more dead in Iraq -in fact, the number was 69 in October alone. SIXTY NINE!
-a mother kills her 2 young daughters - of course now Social Services is passing the blame elsewhere
-North Korea is threatening with more nuclear testing and who knows what else
-the President of the US signs a bill allowing for torture. Yup, let's get rid of human rights so we can all feel safe.

As I had all this weighing on my mind I took my kids to French class at the Elementary School. And I saw a bunch of cutie-patootie little gomers running in the rain with backpacks as big as they are on their backs. Most of them were laughing and talking. The world carries on.

It makes me want to ensure that they have a great life ahead of them with all the hopes and dreams that I had - that we all had.

and really, that we still have.

I'm sitting here having a perfect reflective moment. I've got a cup of steaming hot 'mountain oolong tea' from Chinatown. I've got a perfectly quiet house (the girls are off somewhere with their Uncle Jeff) and I've got something to reflect on.

Today my husband is 41 years old. I can't comment on his age because truth be told - I'm older than he is - only 10 months but still.....

What I am actually thinking about is love. and like. and everything in between. Reid was 26 years old when I fell in love with him. A mere child. At 26 he was adventurous, fun to be around, made me laugh. He was a Christian, he did the Church thing, he loved people and getting involved. At 41 he is still all those things - but more. The years have only made him more fun, more loving, more wise. The commitment he made to God when he was young, has deepened into a real relationship.

It has been exciting for me watch him grow into the Christ-follower, the husband, the dad, the friend that he is today.

He has been a true gift for me.

Happy Thanksgiving.

It is hard to come up with interesting and new things to be thankful for. Things that don't sound like meaningless words without thought. Because you know what? Those cliche things really are the things I'm thankful for.

I thank God every day for my family. I'm talking about my husband, my children, my parents, my sister & brother, their spouses and their children. The whole lot of 'em. Where would I be without them? I don't even wanna know. I'm thankful to never be hungry or cold (ok maybe we are bit cold but I just don't want to turn the furnace on yet!) . I'm thankful that we have jobs and money; that we are among the "haves". and even though I am wary of our present Government, I am thankful that I live here in Canada.

Thankfulness is the beginning of gratitude. Gratitude is the completion of thankfulness. Thankfulness may consist merely of words. Gratitude is shown in acts.
~Henri Frederic Amiel

My baby turns 10 today. Double digits. I can hardly believe it - it's gone so fast. I know that everyone says that - it must be one of those universal truths.

Phoebe is such a precious gift to our family. From her first breath she has brought joy to our family. She is so much her dad and so much me. As the years go by I see her becoming more and more a uniquely created individual. She is curious, creative and she can be nutty or shy depending on her mood.

I am so thankful today. Maybe a little sad. But mostly overwhelmed with the blessing. The blessing we call Phoebe Jane.

There has been an overwhelming thought jumbling around in my head the last couple weeks. I've been trying to figure out how to put it down into words and it just hasn't been working...

In Church last week we sang a song called "Soften my Heart" and part of the lyrics read "I want all that You have for me". I think that's been what is sticking in my head. As a committed follower of Jesus I believe that what God desires for me is what would be the absolute best. Walking where He wants me to walk is the very best path for me to follow. So essentially I am saying "I want ALL that You have for me..." But really I'm chicken. I'm scared to set out in total obedience because it is unfamiliar ground. I know all the right churchy answers but the reality is often I'm just plain scared.

That led me to thinking about intentionally choosing second best. We have friends who are watching a loved one make some really poor choices. I am watching her. It breaks my heart. It makes me wonder why we would choose death instead of life, pain instead of laughter, shallow and fleeting pleasure instead of pure deep down joy. Why we would put our trust in people who have yet to prove themselves loyal and true instead of people who have loved us unconditionally for our lifetime.

And it makes me realize that when I choose to stay on the path of the familiar instead of the path of God's choosing, I am choosing 2nd best.